An Arab journalist and a TV investigator came to London leaving behind a large number of readers and viewers in the Middle East attracted to his articles and programs on liberty and human rights. He was on the verge of death when he underwent a critical craniotomy for brain tumor excision. For the first time ever, he had the chance to assess specific events of his life journey.

Under sedation, Said recalled his eventful past. He confronted himself with facts concerning his outlook to his profession and the extent of respect that people showed to such profession. He scorned himself for reiterating inaccurate information, which, according to his intransigent point of view, has participated in the USA invasion of Iraq.  In the end, he drew a conclusion that journalists were just mere toys. They serve the authority and amuse viewers.
Said represents a large number of journalists who faced a profession that turned out to be very different from the idealistic profession they had dreamt of.  This had confused them …. Should they continue and follow the same path now that they are half way through or back up?
Probably Said's failure to find an answer was the cause of his retreat at the end of the film.
I am Said! The film is my real story! I believe that I would not have succeeded in probing the thoughts of a journalist who suffers from estimable disturbance had I not explored my own. My mission was as difficult as that of the surgeon who extracted the benign tumor in my head… He made sure to extract the roots of the tumor from my scalp exactly in the same manner that I insisted on diving in my inner self in search for roots of my thoughts which were embarrassing, humorous and painful at the same time.
The film is a recapitulation of psychological struggle that the last two years in my life have witnessed. It is the truce that I willingly enforced in order to get away, abstain from lights, and just pursue journalism behind the microphone of the BBC. The truth is that such truce – at the time of producing this film- was about to be lifted as the time was coming nearer for me to join the Arab Television that BBC was planning to launch.  Probably for that reason, my unconsciousness made haste in assessing my previous television works prior to restarting a new. It is worth mentioning that the film had seconded my decision to start discussing the idea of my early retirement in a serious and practical way.
Film events                                                                                         
The film's entire events occur solely in Said's mind. He goes into delirium after being injected with anesthesia. In his hallucination, he thinks about his life, opinions, about his work and himself.
The story starts and ends in the operating theater. Somehow turning it into a courtroom in which Said judges his history and accomplishments.
Said drifts into a deep sleep but one eye remains partly open as if it is the journalist's curiosity behind that, to watch operation steps and to care for the filming to ensure that it would be done according to the scenario of the film.
The next scene lasts for no more than one minute. However, it sums up more than 30 years in Said's life. This is done through a number of photographs and scattered newspaper clippings. These photos are carefully selected from his family album and his job archive.  It includes most effective events in his life. The scene provided an untraditional and indirect way to introduce the hero to which light spot and soft music added more meditating feeling and depth.

Said’s imagination trip started from the oldest picture he remembers when he was 2 years old. It is natural that for a person who is lying on his probably death bed, to go back to his childhood that is free from responsibilities and burdens. The camera moves then from this old picture to another one with his sister, who was his first tutor, in their seventh birthday party which was the one and only during childhood. Then the camera moves again to show another picture for him during presenting the school-broadcasting program in which he discovered that he had a talent for broadcasting and television performance even before he actually finished his intermediate schooling. We also see his pictures with international prominent figures; such as the Yemeni President Ali Abdullah Saleh, the Head of the Yemeni House of Representatives Sheikh Abdullah AlAhmar, former Somali President Abdi Qasim Salad Hassan, and John Garang the head of the Sudan Liberation Movement ( before his death in a mysterious plane crash in 2005).
Also, it did not escape Said – in his dream – to recall his photograph with the Journalist Said Sunbul during their first meeting in 1988.
The film hero, Said, who was born in Alexandria in 1973 – had wished to work in journalism field since he was fourteen years old. His dream was coupled with hard work to enhance and examine his writing talent.  Moreover, because he had to double his efforts to compensate his being away from the capital which monopolizes  the best opportunities in media field, he managed  to meet the well known Egyptian journalist Said Sunbul ( 1929-2004) and even win his confidence and admiration.  Said kept following his tutor's advise until he graduated from Literature faculty in Alexandria in 1994.  Said Sunbul assisted Said to train in Cairo then assisted in getting him appointed in the biggest newspaper in Egypt (AlAhram).
This show-round ends with a picture of Said with a microphone in his hand and giving the impression that he is irritated. With the music suddenly rising, the camera rushes towards the picture, which, to our surprise, turns to be real. We see Said in a shot from one of his previous programs in Hebron (Al-Khalil) in Occupied Palestine. In this shot he screams in front of the camera pointing out the violations against Palestinian journalists and foreign correspondents to prove what is considered a savage way that the Israeli occupation is enforcing in HOLLY SATURDAY, later on we see Said fighting with an Israeli soldier who is pushing him away from the clashes area to prevent him from filming. Then we see his dialogue with the Head of the Israeli Police Force in Hebron who was demanding to see Said's identity card, despite that Said challenged him in defiance that he is an Egyptian and solemnly thinking that the Israeli/Egyptian peace agreement would give him immunity. Seeing these shots, we realize the difficult atmosphere in which Said used to carry on his work and that the goal for which he genuinely worked for was to defend liberties and human rights.
The paradox now is that viewers of this hot TV material are Said himself.  It turns out that all those are Said himself, Said, Said, Said and Said. He is the hero of this TV subject and at the same time, he is the spectator. In fact, he is the only spectator.

Does not anyone care? Does anyone see his work, which cost him effort and time, and life risks?  Are the people who Said approaches with no feelings and not moved by such horrible images.  The scene puts forward these questions and the answers are left open with no helping factor to assist the viewer.
The scene here finishes with a shot for the American ABC cameraman who is being beaten by Jewish settlers while the noise of chaos and screams going down to be replaced by Said heart beats. We see Said in the next scene on the operation bed surrendering to the surgeon who is injecting his brain with anesthetic to put him out of conscious. However, Said unconsciousness remains awake.
September 11
Again, Said recalls decisive events in his life most important of which, no doubt, is 11 September.  In this point, the screen is divided into two halves. The first, showed chaos prevailing in New York streets immediately after the two planes collided into the World Trade Towers.

In the other half, Said is seen in Paris recording an introductory to one of his TV series in which, he is asking questions about human rights in Tunisia. (It is well known that majority of Tunisian opposition reside in France.)
This two-scene shot insinuates that events occurred simultaneously and, in real, they did. However, the roar of the Towers collapse prevails over Said's gradually disappearing voice. Only his lips move without hearing one single word. At this point, we are lead to understand that the event with all its ideas and consequences had manipulated media worldwide. It has forced the cancellation of all other programmed priorities.
The program whose mission had been to defend liberties was banned after 11 September.  The film authenticates this uneasy moment with an extremely symbolic two-shot scene.
The first was shot from a low angle for a door with a hung banner with (TV Manager) written on it.  Then we see in the second shot – taken nearly from the same angle, a chair in the middle of a spot light but is engulfed with utter darkness.

Frankly, I hesitated whether to add to this scene a speaking voice, supposedly for the TV Manager informing me that the program would be banned as a penalty for crossing red lines. But, in the end I decided that I should not seem too direct. I found that a low angle shot for the chair would be sufficient to show and express that somebody's existence is condensed to the influence he applies through his position.
Shock derived from ban
We return once again to reality, to the operating theater.  Doctors are still preparing for the operation after locally and generally sedating Said. In the meanwhile, Said carries on with his absurd dream.
He summons several extracts from his previous programs with a musical piece called (Farewell).  This part is another time show like the one which Said started his dream with- but this time, the show is live and it expresses his feeling of hurt for the banning of his program.
In the final lines of his book (Scissors of censorship) Said wrote:
 “The TV Manager informed me on the evening of Tuesday 18 September 2001 that following these incidents, it had been decided to ban the program. New York events had pushed the Arab media to reconsider its strategies. When I left the Manager's room, the night was as dark as nothingness. I was lost, absent-minded, sad and troubled. While walking on and on, I suddenly stopped and looked back and it struck me that the path was very long…. BUT I focused again on my road and walked ahead. "
[Akbar El Youm – Cairo, 2003]
This part of the film did present a precise optical tantamount to this paragraph from Said's book 4 years after its publication.
Sunset Cliché
The disputed shot that might raise a debate at this point is the one where Said firmly stands in the desert, watching sunset.  In the first version of the film it was longer. However, later on I replaced the majority with shots of the operation itself which is regarded as the pillar of the film.

The Controversy here is on the necessity of using such a cliché. We have seen it in many films before and it is usually used in a similar drama context. Despite the fact that this point of view might have some logic, I found my self compelled to keep this shot because it accurately expresses the disappointment Said felt after his program was banned. Moreover, Said, me, used, when faced any crisis, to resort either to the desert (where he lived for around seven years of his life in the Gulf desert area) or to the sea (where he was brought up in the cost city of Alexandria).  Whichever retreat he used, Said would choose either sunrise or sunset depending on his psychological state at the time.  Therefore, this shot has a special meaning for the author- the hero.
It certainly exceeds the traditional mould that the viewers' memory may require.
Disturbing Scenes
Here, and in this part of the film, we find shots that could hurt the viewers’ feelings.  The Doctors forceps are working in Said's head, in an attempt to extract the tumor from its roots. I hesitated to use these shots but finally I decided to do so in order to emphasize the symbolic central projection in the film. This is thought to be achieved through showing the resemblance between extracting the tumor from Said's head and liberating the imprisoned thought in his mind. In this part the tumor comes out in parallel with the idea which is getting clearer and crystallizing bit by bit.

No doubt, my television background in the field of news and current events have encouraged me to add such frank and annoying shots, as I do know very well that viewers feelings have passed the stage of irritation once they saw the drilling of a patient’s head and that the audience have become familiar with the scenes of war, killings and mutilating corpses. Such scenes have eased audiences' fear and disgust. Had it been another producer with no such background, then he might have opted against using such scenes. He might even use more romantic shots during the surgery.
Tricks: Chess
The following scene is for Said in New York. He is listening with annoyance to the first State of the Union Address by President Bush after the war on Afghanistan late January 2002. While Bush advocates that his war on terrorism has just begun, he goes on to accuse other particular countries of supporting terrorism and starving its people. The speech comes on giant broadcasting screens in the famous crowded Broadway square. However, no one is bothered with the speech except for Said.
This scene in which some archive material is used is done smoothly and without indulgence.

It will not escape professionals that Bush shots are done through using After Effects editing software.  However, at the same time they would notice and commend the proficiency used in performing this trick. In general, this scene presented a non-traditional introduction, which presented the needed justifications for the next scene - Chess scene.
A natural wipe in which one of passing cars is used, reveals a scene matching in its mystery with magical world in which we are locked in right from the beginning of the film.
A hard featured shaved headed person, is totally absorbed with a colleague in playing chess game in a rather mysterious and dark surrounding environment
The two players watch anxiously the chessboard. Suddenly and to our surprise the minute chess pawn are real people.  From the instruments they have in hand we easily assume that they are journalists. They actually go about with their work ( picturing, writing and recording etc..) However, they all look in all directions suspiciously with anxiety. This is identical to journalists nowadays who are threatened with lack of security, excessive control and fear of punishment in the event that they speak out their views in public.

Said visualizes this in his dream. He believes that journalists are tools of the authority. This presents one of Said's crises, which he is unable to express when awake, therefore under sedation he is free to let go. Characters of the chessboard were separated on a green chroma through employing digital camera 790 to ensure clean and effective separation. But, due to the fact that the filming space being small, I was not able to diversify the size of actors. This was the scene's weak point and it limited the duration not to exceed one minute and restricted filming to one angle with two sizes. For that reason, we are not able to see the face of the other player also we are neither able to concentrate on the face expressions of the actors nor on their behavior which is supposed to be compatible with their work as journalists. The film has a philosophical depth. Therefore, I avoided giving actors a final description of the scene before filming. Instead, I asked them to imagine that they were under the threat of being attacked by two monsters in front of them and behind. On the wall, I drew marks, to which I directed them to look at. At this point, it is fair to comment the seven actors followed my instructions professionally. However, the final outcome of their action was excessive, which only added another weak point to the scene. Camera Movement Two prominent producers visually influenced this film being Haroun Mohamed Saleh and Warner Hezog. The latter never tires from focusing camera on the goal for long periods, even longer than any other producer would dare to do. It seems that he is searching for something in the shot or as if he is waiting to reach the deepest point in the scene.. It seems that Herzog adopted this procedure after reaching two conclusions. The first is that the audience and the producer go on parallel paths hoping to achieve the gain from a shot. The second is that the beauty of a shot is always in its depth and it is a must to dive in order to enjoy it. Herzog evaluates his material differently. He recycles the bin of other producers who believe that the most important and final parts should only be retained, Fata Morgana could be considered the best of Herzog's works. It was filmed in 1969 and shown for the first time in 1971. I was more shocked than surprised by this film. It made me reconsider how to actually select a picture among raw filming material. It has also given me extra boldness to keep the camera on the goal and concentrate for relatively longer period while taking a shot. I confess that the scenes of Fata Morgana was on my mind when I lingered in directing the cameraman to switch his camera off while filming the scene of the mirror in my film Nonsense. In this scene, I stared in the mirror after the make up expert finishes from applying the much-exaggerated make up on my face according to the scenario. As the noise American bombing on Iraq in 2003 is heard, the cameraman keeps his camera focused towards my face in an attempt to show how sad and gloomy my face is. Suddenly, I stand up with a shrug, wipe the make up with a towel and leave the room with the mirror left with no hero. That was the first time that I gave freedom to the camera to concentrate on a shot until reaching a saturation point.

Moreover, I think that it is easy for the viewer to understand about Said's rebellion on something which contradicts somehow with his belief especially after reviewing certain events that happened in his life earlier. For example, the interview he had with the Iraqi Charge d'Affairs in London in 2000 in which he quoted reports by Western media about Sadam Hussein and lies about Iraq having mass destruction weapons
He later regretted making this interview and consequently reached a decision not to indulge in such programs.
Reconstructing Realty
It is impossible to remember tiny details in history. It is remembered as it was seen and understood. Usually unnecessary details are dropped and thus be wiped out from memory and time.
Here, our hero recalls an incident that has been imprinted in his memory. It took place nearly two and half years ago. By chance, he met a lady who admired his program.
She expressed her admiration and commented that Said's program was her only way of amusement while preparing lunch.  Although this Iraqi lady was complementing him, Said was devastated. He realized that those people whom he fought diligently for their rights, they only watched his programs to kill boredom and time.  Then he thought of himself as a clown and this thought hibernated for some years until the doctors opened Said's head and revealed what was hidden in there.
The Clown
I confess that I lived inner struggle before I finally took the decision to play the role of a clown in the film.  I am well known to my fans as a serious TV presenter. It is not thought of that a person like me deliberately spoils his image. BUT in the end I decided to challenge both the viewers and myself through revealing the real face of those television journalists.
Black comedy in this scene leaves you wondering. Should you laugh or cry when you see a TV presenter holding microphone in his hand standing in front of war in Iraq background? He talks about American occupation of the Middle East while wearing clothes of a clown and his face is painted heavily.  Moreover, he appreciates the applause of people who suddenly show up in the bottom of the screen.  So he bows to salute them as if he has just finished from performing a comic show in the circus.

Originally, my idea was the TV presenter/ clown to read in front of the camera a comic phrase with political insinuations and his performance to be that of a clown with same expressions in the same rhythm. The original text of the scene is:
Come near     come near, come near!
Come near and watch how Iraq is destroyed!
Explosions here. Assassinations there!
America shika bika and Britain has become something else!
Human rights is all forgotten!
And hundreds are killed to save liberties!
Taking oil and the nation condition is as worse as ever!
Come near come near come near!
But suddenly, and just before filming started, I reviewed the text and performance.  I realized that the point was that the presenter would be reading a serious text in a solemn way wearing clothes of a clown.
Although I have twice filmed the scene in two different ways , yet when editing, I decided to use the version with the serious text and I solemnly believe that in this way I presented the viewers with the message which I intended to pass.
Final Scene
Mohamed Saleh Haroun's film ‘Abouna’ inspired me when I was making the last scene. ‘Abouna’ starts with the escape but Nonsense ends with it. 
The film star's escape in the film ‘Abouna’ is not justified right from the beginning. Moreover, it raises no sympathy despite the fact that it affects the viewers deeply not allowing them to forget it through out watching. On the contrary, my hero's escape is both expected and understood.
Abouna, the French - Chadian social drama 2002, starts with a man looking deeply into the camera for a minute or more as if he is scrutinizing his past and memories, then he is abandoning the camera dashing to the desert. At this stage, his teenage sons start looking for him and this lasts until the end.
Like Abouna, Said carries a hard moral disturbance heritage. He finds no solution other than ridding himself of it through escape.
Thus, he stands for moments in front of the camera- ponder over the events of the film - or, better say, his life - before turning round with high determination and racing towards the sun.
When I wrote the scene I had Abouna on my mind.  Again, I recalled the real events while I was performing the scene. Unfortunately, I did not arrange with my assistant as to what signal he should alert me with as I leave the filming location and then the camera would stop and I should stop running. So I kept running and running and for a while. I believed that I had to reach the sun.

I was so exhausted that I fell then I cried, got up and resumed running but slowly. I did not dare to look back as if my past was chasing me; governments exploiting journalists and people amuse themselves with journalists, the fabrications and lies that we, the journalists, spread, the crimes that we caused. I lived in the scene as if it was real, as if it was the end of a certain period in my life and not the end of just a film.
Self-criticism
As Herzog and Haroun have influenced the form of my film, Carol Morley influenced my film's soul and message. Her film (The Alcohol Years) encouraged me to over do self-criticism and to have guts in evaluating past events. This could be common division between both films.
When Morley was filming ‘The Alcohol Years’, she published a classified advertisement pleading with her old friends to come forward to testify about her. They came and sat in front of the camera and talked about an immoral woman who did her utmost to make the best of her youth. They testified that she used to roam the streets in search for a male companion with whom she would spend the night.  Morley allowed this film to condemn her as immoral but she did not back up … Frankness was the hero.
Nonsense achieved the same thing. It evaluated and analyzed 10 years of my life. The result might be unkind but it satisfied me.
Editing
The film is a dream from the beginning until the end. In order to put the viewer in this absurd world, I had to utilize all possible visual effects during editing with the aim to show that the film looks like a printed copy just out of Said's thoughts machine.
Visual Effects
Motion Blur was the most important effect that I used in the surgical operation scene. It gives the viewer a feeling that is too near to imagination, especially when reducing the speed by half.
White flashes were applied but cautiously so that the viewer would not be disturbed. It helped the use of audio track especially when it coincided with heartbeats or high pitched music. It also benefited the film when moving between reality and imagination with a high pitched whoosh.
Docu-drama
The film throws a substantial question: to what extent could drama be accepted as one of documentary film tools?
In order to answer, it is imperative to revive memory by going back definition of the documentary film and to specify its function in general.
Most definitions agree that a documentary film is a non-fiction film with no actors. It is a journalistic record for an event, individual, place or a phenomenon. It aims at presenting factual data as well as adopting a point of view but does not seek to convince.
It is such a definition of wide allowing many experimental ideas to enter the documentary domain.
My film Nonsense does not presume non-occurring events. It does not invent an imaginary untrue story. It is based on a real experience that the star lived and was affected by and now he wants to narrate it.
Usually, in such case, the narrator sits on a chair facing the camera with his hands crossed, staring directly at the interviewer. Instead, Said, in ‘Nonesense’, employs an untraditional method to do so. Not only to overcome the impatience of the viewer (which represented one of his crises in this film) but because he opted to invite us to his imagination to watch his experience as was seen by him.
The new aspect that Nonsense presents is that it documents impressions on events and true incidents. In my opinion, impressions, even dreams are actual part of reality. Impressions are reading of reality while dreams are its reflections. To know one or both would help in understanding one’s character without having to ask questions directly.
Said was invited to star in a documentary that carried his name outlining his experience in London since he moved there two years ago. It was produced by the Kuwaiti producer Rashed Al-Eid produced the film in 2007.
Although Rashed was commended on his excellent work, Said realized that his 10 years work on TV did not, in fact, give him enough courage to evaluate his experience in front of the camera. Still he lived inner struggle between his position as TV presenter and his bitter feeling on the profession.
There was no way to interrogate Said except through listening to his murmurs when he was under sedation. His surgery was employed to serve the purpose. It was easy to get Said's consent on this idea because I am Said.
Turning point
The film was not a self- rebellion only, in fact . it was a rebellion on my art school to which I was associated during the past 10 years.
It is such a direct journalist school which regards documentary films as a scientific book or a newspaper article.
An accurate example would be my film Urano that I filmed between 2001 – 2003 in six countries. It dealt with toxic wastes disposal in Somalia. I filled it with hundreds of documents and statistics. It was awarded a golden prize in one of the specialized Arab festivals, which proved that the style was accepted to both viewers and critics in the Arab world.
The question is why the viewer in Arab world differs from those in Europe and America.
Why does the Arab viewer settle for a direct film, with no riddles, message is too obvious and has the classical artistic form?
And on the other hand, why does the Western viewer seek new and unique approach and prefer to watch documentaries that put forward questions with no answers and enjoys probing its purpose?
The history of film production in the Arab region quotes only two or three producers who oppose the classic trend and their work is not comprehended. Yousef Shahin, the Egyptian cinema director, is one of them. Nevertheless, the majority of viewers in the Arab world do not favor his films.
I believe that comprehensive education system that manipulates Arab region has made people lazy and dependant. While the openness in the western societies train people to exchange ideas and accept differences.
Teaching methods in government schools in the Arab world is apparent and reflected on the way they accept things.
For example, western architecture favors modernization and breaking moulds which is seldom found in the Arab world.